I have a strange fascination with taking a song and not only applying it to a situation, but making it fit through a written story. So, yes, this should sound familiar, much like Savior.
As I walked into the room that had belonged to me for the last sixteen years of life, I was a little less than surprised to see the Lunar, Crimson, curled up on the floor. This had become a reoccurring find starting the night I received a black eye from her. Since then I begun to expect to see the oddly quiet woman near my bed after my late night sessions throughout the city. Since then I also drank less and preferred company outside of the brothel in order to keep a repeat from happening. She never stirred when I came to claim the bed, or at least not enough for me to notice, and I noticed a lot. Nor did she ever say anything the next morning when I’d wake up and she would be on my bed, sneaking next to me sometime in the middle of the night. I sometimes wished I could claim those as the strangest of moments with her, but her unique talents granted by her Goddess were even more odd. There were even occasions she had come to me, covered in blood and again, not a word was spoken from her. I honestly don’t think I would want to know either.
“Here we go again,” I breathed the words to myself. It wasn’t so much exasperation as it was words of encouragement. Every night I would see Crimson lying there and every night I would tell myself that in the morning we would talk about what was bound to happen between us. The morning would come and again we’d stare at each other never exchanging a word. Sometimes she would be so close I could sigh and my lips would brush hers…
The thought stirred me, it wasn’t completely unwelcome. I didn’t want to settle down yet, I was sixteen! But I did feel something each time I woke and her eyes were looking into mine. Her legs wrapped up in mine. Her skin touching mine. I felt something, and it was more than that familiar longing in my groin. It was a tug in my chest, a twisting of my stomach, the reason I never got the words out in the morning and instead slipped out of bed. I wanted to be more than friends. But Crimson needed to take it easy on me. Whatever she was doing was eating away at me from the inside. I realized I was afraid. Afraid of this new feeling. Afraid of what could happen. Afraid that she would never be satisfied.
I sighed and began preparing for bed, tossing my long jacket on a chair nearby. 'Here we go again,' I thought to myself. All I had to do was tell her. Just tell her we were acting like animals in the matter. Posturing, and preening. Playing pretend. 'What was the worst that could happen?' The thought of Crimson covered in blood resurfaced in response. I shuddered and tried to push it from my mind. She was already eating me alive. The hole I felt when I was with someone else, it wasn’t there before her. The gnawing at my mind when I was near her, it was hard to think of anything else. She was just a cannibal, and if things continued on in this way I was certain I wouldn’t get out alive.
I kicked off my boots and dropped onto the bed. The fire crackled. Crimson sighed in her sleep. My head swam. I wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight. I closed my eyes and fought off the flood of emotion threatening to overcome me. That was the downside to my gift. Easy to anger, devastate, lust, love. She had no idea what she did to me.
Opening my eyes, there she was. Her silver eyes boring into my soul. Her breath upon my lips. I had fallen asleep at some point, and the morning brought Crimson into my bed yet again. Her bare legs pressed gently to mine. Oh, I wanted more. More than the awkward silence that always followed. More than these brief moments of sensual contact. I wanted her.
“What are you waiting for?” I whispered. She flushed and quickly scooted out of the bed. 'Great! You blew that one!' I scolded myself. I could have said anything, and that was what came out of my mouth. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought the same thing she must have. It’s not like I had shown her any interest. I was avoiding Crimson most of the time to keep situations like this from getting out of hand.
I sighed inwardly. This could just be a blessing in disguise. If I had said something different, and things had gone another way, I may have been offering up myself. Becoming vulnerable like that, exposing my tender feelings and saying, “Take a bite of my heart tonight,” that just wasn’t me. I was the one in control. I was the one that caused another to wrestle with their emotions. I loved enough, but not so completely that I lost myself. And I was losing myself with her.
What was done, was done. I rolled out of bed myself and went about my morning as usual, not saying a word as to what just took place. After slipping on my clothes I headed out to… I guess you could say take on the day, but I honestly didn’t have much to do most of the time. My days consisted of gambling, a few occasional chores like bringing things up from the cellar, and wandering through the underbelly of Nexus. Today was no exception.
A long day of dice, cards, and competitive betting did little but waste away my time. I suppose that was my only true goal, get through another day. But in the end I was bound to head home, walk through my door, and be accosted by my own thoughts and urges. She was always there. And since it wasn’t exactly my own property, being that I stayed rent-free in the building owned by my mother, I had little say in the matter. Bidding my time with company of strangers, eventually that need that everyone experiences overcame me and I went to claim my bed. Sleep tugged me to my room, where Crimson lay near the fire, and I was left to silently fight with myself before finally drifting off.
Here we are again. Another morning, I stretch and she’s there. Watching me with those silvery orbs. Body brushing against mine. I felt that all too familiar ache between my legs, the sudden rush of my heart, and the racing of my thoughts. The chemicals were kicking in and it was getting heavy. I swallowed, attempting to keep my composure while a cacophony of choices were being yelled inside my head. I wanted to run and hide from the noise. From this feeling. From her. Like I do every time. Just roll out of bed and never utter a word. But I knew in my soul that things wouldn’t change. Another day would just pass and we would be here tomorrow. So close to me. Watching me. Tempting me. 'Killing me.'
She went to move and I grabbed her wrist. She didn’t dare pull away, instead she watched. I knew she was studying me and calculating my next action. An action I hadn’t even contemplated. I just knew I had to stop her this morning. I won’t be denied by her again. Not when she brings this out of me. Not when the animal inside of her tears at my soul.
I don’t know how long we laid there, muscles tense and breath shallow. My hand locked around her thin wrist. I cocked my head towards her hand brushing my thumb over her tattooed skin and loosening my grip. It was so small, so delicate, not at all like the woman I knew. Crimson was raw, primal, full of vigor. She honestly scared the hell out of me when she found a cause to fight for. I hadn’t forgotten the feel of her fist on my face. I hadn’t been hit by anyone in a long time, usually I saw it coming. But not from her. And not from such womanly hands.
I let go and swept my thumb down her forearm as she slowly brought her hand to her shoulder. A shoulder equally as feminine and soft despite the harsh lines of ink covering her skin. Her heart was pounding, I could see it pumping against the curve of her neck peeking out under fiery red locks draped across her sun-kissed, golden skin. I had never seen Crimson this way and I wanted more. Now, more than ever, I wanted to touch her. I wanted to taste her. I wanted to be with her. But I knew that meant saying goodbye to my heart and I wasn’t ready for that yet.
I wrapped my arm around Crimson and pulled her against me burying my face in her neck. I sucked in as much of her perfume as my lungs could take. She smelled of sweetness, like forbidden fruit. My head was swimming, it was intoxicating. A shiver ran through me. I think I groaned. I was having a hard time keeping up with reality, getting lost in her. I could almost feel our souls touching, and it felt like it belonged. Surely I was going mad.
The world was quiet except for the thumping of my heart and her quickened breath. My hand was clenched and full of her hair. I couldn’t fight it. Crimson made a whispery noise, I couldn’t tell if she was saying something or giving in. I bit my tongue and shuddered trying to stave off the desire willing me on. I felt my fist open, Crimson’s hair freed from my grasp. And while I had the tiniest bit of rational thought brought on by the pain in my mouth, I sat up and scrambled away nearly falling out of bed.
We had nearly made a mess of everything. My thoughts were coming back to me, slowing down along with my heart. She laid there, staring at me with wide eyes. Mournful eyes, as if I had slapped her. Perhaps I had scared her. I know I scared myself.
“Ghost,” She whispered. “What… was that?” I shook my head and climbed out of bed.
“Hush.” It was all I had to say. I still felt cloudy-headed and confused, I didn’t want to talk, not now. I guess I preferred the awkward silence we shared each morning. Why couldn’t she understand how difficult she made it for me? Every night she was here, filling my thoughts and dreams. Every morning she was next to me, torturing my self-control. I turned away from her and quickly got dressed. She never moved. I could feel her staring at me, waiting for me to say something. I saw her laying there as I grabbed my jacket and turned towards the door. She was still waiting. Again I shook my head as I escaped the room with a sigh. 'I won’t sleep tonight…'
The thought stirred me, it wasn’t completely unwelcome. I didn’t want to settle down yet, I was sixteen! But I did feel something each time I woke and her eyes were looking into mine. Her legs wrapped up in mine. Her skin touching mine. I felt something, and it was more than that familiar longing in my groin. It was a tug in my chest, a twisting of my stomach, the reason I never got the words out in the morning and instead slipped out of bed. I wanted to be more than friends. But Crimson needed to take it easy on me. Whatever she was doing was eating away at me from the inside. I realized I was afraid. Afraid of this new feeling. Afraid of what could happen. Afraid that she would never be satisfied.
I sighed and began preparing for bed, tossing my long jacket on a chair nearby. 'Here we go again,' I thought to myself. All I had to do was tell her. Just tell her we were acting like animals in the matter. Posturing, and preening. Playing pretend. 'What was the worst that could happen?' The thought of Crimson covered in blood resurfaced in response. I shuddered and tried to push it from my mind. She was already eating me alive. The hole I felt when I was with someone else, it wasn’t there before her. The gnawing at my mind when I was near her, it was hard to think of anything else. She was just a cannibal, and if things continued on in this way I was certain I wouldn’t get out alive.
I kicked off my boots and dropped onto the bed. The fire crackled. Crimson sighed in her sleep. My head swam. I wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight. I closed my eyes and fought off the flood of emotion threatening to overcome me. That was the downside to my gift. Easy to anger, devastate, lust, love. She had no idea what she did to me.
Opening my eyes, there she was. Her silver eyes boring into my soul. Her breath upon my lips. I had fallen asleep at some point, and the morning brought Crimson into my bed yet again. Her bare legs pressed gently to mine. Oh, I wanted more. More than the awkward silence that always followed. More than these brief moments of sensual contact. I wanted her.
“What are you waiting for?” I whispered. She flushed and quickly scooted out of the bed. 'Great! You blew that one!' I scolded myself. I could have said anything, and that was what came out of my mouth. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought the same thing she must have. It’s not like I had shown her any interest. I was avoiding Crimson most of the time to keep situations like this from getting out of hand.
I sighed inwardly. This could just be a blessing in disguise. If I had said something different, and things had gone another way, I may have been offering up myself. Becoming vulnerable like that, exposing my tender feelings and saying, “Take a bite of my heart tonight,” that just wasn’t me. I was the one in control. I was the one that caused another to wrestle with their emotions. I loved enough, but not so completely that I lost myself. And I was losing myself with her.
What was done, was done. I rolled out of bed myself and went about my morning as usual, not saying a word as to what just took place. After slipping on my clothes I headed out to… I guess you could say take on the day, but I honestly didn’t have much to do most of the time. My days consisted of gambling, a few occasional chores like bringing things up from the cellar, and wandering through the underbelly of Nexus. Today was no exception.
A long day of dice, cards, and competitive betting did little but waste away my time. I suppose that was my only true goal, get through another day. But in the end I was bound to head home, walk through my door, and be accosted by my own thoughts and urges. She was always there. And since it wasn’t exactly my own property, being that I stayed rent-free in the building owned by my mother, I had little say in the matter. Bidding my time with company of strangers, eventually that need that everyone experiences overcame me and I went to claim my bed. Sleep tugged me to my room, where Crimson lay near the fire, and I was left to silently fight with myself before finally drifting off.
Here we are again. Another morning, I stretch and she’s there. Watching me with those silvery orbs. Body brushing against mine. I felt that all too familiar ache between my legs, the sudden rush of my heart, and the racing of my thoughts. The chemicals were kicking in and it was getting heavy. I swallowed, attempting to keep my composure while a cacophony of choices were being yelled inside my head. I wanted to run and hide from the noise. From this feeling. From her. Like I do every time. Just roll out of bed and never utter a word. But I knew in my soul that things wouldn’t change. Another day would just pass and we would be here tomorrow. So close to me. Watching me. Tempting me. 'Killing me.'
She went to move and I grabbed her wrist. She didn’t dare pull away, instead she watched. I knew she was studying me and calculating my next action. An action I hadn’t even contemplated. I just knew I had to stop her this morning. I won’t be denied by her again. Not when she brings this out of me. Not when the animal inside of her tears at my soul.
I don’t know how long we laid there, muscles tense and breath shallow. My hand locked around her thin wrist. I cocked my head towards her hand brushing my thumb over her tattooed skin and loosening my grip. It was so small, so delicate, not at all like the woman I knew. Crimson was raw, primal, full of vigor. She honestly scared the hell out of me when she found a cause to fight for. I hadn’t forgotten the feel of her fist on my face. I hadn’t been hit by anyone in a long time, usually I saw it coming. But not from her. And not from such womanly hands.
I let go and swept my thumb down her forearm as she slowly brought her hand to her shoulder. A shoulder equally as feminine and soft despite the harsh lines of ink covering her skin. Her heart was pounding, I could see it pumping against the curve of her neck peeking out under fiery red locks draped across her sun-kissed, golden skin. I had never seen Crimson this way and I wanted more. Now, more than ever, I wanted to touch her. I wanted to taste her. I wanted to be with her. But I knew that meant saying goodbye to my heart and I wasn’t ready for that yet.
I wrapped my arm around Crimson and pulled her against me burying my face in her neck. I sucked in as much of her perfume as my lungs could take. She smelled of sweetness, like forbidden fruit. My head was swimming, it was intoxicating. A shiver ran through me. I think I groaned. I was having a hard time keeping up with reality, getting lost in her. I could almost feel our souls touching, and it felt like it belonged. Surely I was going mad.
The world was quiet except for the thumping of my heart and her quickened breath. My hand was clenched and full of her hair. I couldn’t fight it. Crimson made a whispery noise, I couldn’t tell if she was saying something or giving in. I bit my tongue and shuddered trying to stave off the desire willing me on. I felt my fist open, Crimson’s hair freed from my grasp. And while I had the tiniest bit of rational thought brought on by the pain in my mouth, I sat up and scrambled away nearly falling out of bed.
We had nearly made a mess of everything. My thoughts were coming back to me, slowing down along with my heart. She laid there, staring at me with wide eyes. Mournful eyes, as if I had slapped her. Perhaps I had scared her. I know I scared myself.
“Ghost,” She whispered. “What… was that?” I shook my head and climbed out of bed.
“Hush.” It was all I had to say. I still felt cloudy-headed and confused, I didn’t want to talk, not now. I guess I preferred the awkward silence we shared each morning. Why couldn’t she understand how difficult she made it for me? Every night she was here, filling my thoughts and dreams. Every morning she was next to me, torturing my self-control. I turned away from her and quickly got dressed. She never moved. I could feel her staring at me, waiting for me to say something. I saw her laying there as I grabbed my jacket and turned towards the door. She was still waiting. Again I shook my head as I escaped the room with a sigh. 'I won’t sleep tonight…'
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